第112章

March 3.--I have written to Stella, with a list of addresses at which letters will reach me; and I have sent another list to my faithful ally the maid.When we leave Gibraltar, our course will be to Naples--thence to Civita Vecchia, Leghorn, Genoa, Marseilles.From any of those places, I am within easy traveling distance of St.Germain.

March 7.At Sea.--It is half-past six in the evening.We have just passed the Eddystone Lighthouse, with the wind abeam.The log registers ten knots an hour.

Fourth Extract.

_Naples, May_ 10.--The fair promise at the beginning of my voyage has not been fulfilled.Owing to contrary winds, storms, and delays at Cadiz in repairing damages, we have only arrived at Naples this evening.Under trying circumstances of all sorts, the yacht has behaved admirably.A stouter and finer sea-boat never was built.

We are too late to find the post-office open.I shall send ashore for letters the first thing tomorrow morning.My next movements will depend entirely on the news I get from St.Germain.If Iremain for any length of time in these regions, I shall give my crew the holiday they have well earned at Civita Vecchia.I am never weary of Rome--but I always did, and always shall, dislike Naples.

May 11--.My plans are completely changed.I am annoyed and angry; the further I get away from France, the better I shall be pleased.

I have heard from Stella, and heard from the maid.Both letters inform me that the child is born, and that it is a boy.Do they expect me to feel any interest in the boy? He is my worst enemy before he is out of his long-clothes.

Stella writes kindly enough.Not a line in her letter, however, invites me, or holds out the prospect of inviting me, to St.

Germain.She refers to her mother very briefly, merely informing me that Mrs.Eyrecourt is well, and is already enjoying the gayeties of Paris.Three-fourths of the letter are occupied with the baby.When I wrote to her I signed myself "yours affectionately." Stella signs "yours sincerely." It is a trifle, I daresay--but I feel it, for all that.

Matilda is faithful to her engagement; Matilda's letter tells me the truth.

"Since the birth of the baby," she writes, "Mrs.Romayne has never once mentioned your name; she can talk of nothing, and think of nothing, but her child.I make every allowance, I hope, for a lady in her melancholy situation.But I do think it is not very grateful to have quite forgotten Mr.Winterfield, who has done so much for her, and who only asks to pass a few hours of his day innocently in her society.Perhaps, being a single woman, I write ignorantly about mothers and babies.But I have my feelings; and (though I never liked Mr.Romayne) I feel for _you,_ sir--if you will forgive the familiarity.In my opinion this new craze about the baby will wear out.He is already a cause of difference of opinion.My good mistress, who possesses knowledge of the world, and a kind heart as well, advises that Mr.Romayne should be informed of the birth of a son and heir.

Mrs.Eyrecourt says, most truly, that the hateful old priest will get possession of Mr.Romayne's property, to the prejudice of the child, unless steps are taken to shame him into doing justice to his own son.But Mrs.Romayne is as proud as Lucifer; she will not hear of making the first advances, as she calls it.'The man who has deserted me,' she says, 'has no heart to be touched either by wife or child.' My mistress does not agree with her.

There have been hard words already, and the nice old French gentleman and his wife try to make peace.You will smile when Itell you that they offer sugar-plums as a sort of composing gift.

My mistress accepts the gift, and has been to the theater at Paris, with Monsieur and Madame Villeray more than once already.

To conclude, sir, if I might venture to advise you, I should recommend trying the effect on Mrs.R.of absence and silence."A most sensibly written letter.I shall certainly take Matilda's advice.My name is never mentioned by Stella--and not a day has passed without my thinking of her!

Well, I suppose a man can harden his heart if he likes.Let me harden _my_ heart, and forget her.

The crew shall have three days ashore at Naples, and then we sail for Alexandria.In that port the yacht will wait my return.Ihave not yet visited the cataracts of the Nile; I have not yet seen the magnificent mouse-colored women of Nubia.A tent in the desert, and a dusky daughter of Nature to keep house for me--there is a new life for a man who is weary of the vapid civilization of Europe! I shall begin by letting my beard grow.

Fifth Extract.

Civita Vecchia, February 28, 1863.--Back again on the coast of Italy--after an absence, at sea and ashore, of nine months!

What have my travels done for me? They have made me browner and thinner; they have given me a more patient mind, and a taste for mild tobacco.Have they helped me to forget Stella? Not the least in the world--I am more eager than ever to see her again.When Ilook back at my diary I am really ashamed of my own fretfulness and impatience.What miserable vanity on my part to expect her to think of me, when she was absorbed in the first cares and joys of maternity; especially sacred to her, poor soul, as the one consolation of her melancholy life! I withdraw all that I wrote about her--and from the bottom of my heart I forgive the baby.

Rome, March 1.--I have found my letters waiting for me at the office of my banker.